Health Coaches: Why are clients unmotivated or noncompliant?
Do your clients say that they ‘know’ what they are supposed to do and say they ‘should’ be doing more self-care for their chronic illness but they feel unmotivated, helpless or life is getting in the way of their success?
Could the answer be — because of their Adverse Childhood Experiences?
Why does recognizing Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) in our clients matter? We may expect that clients come to us with certain life skills.
We may expect that they:
Have awareness and understanding of the world around them.
Can understand the potential consequences of their actions, both positive and negative.
Have knowledge of their bodies and can feel their bodies.
Can effectively problem solve and plan for the future.
Can recognize their feelings, learn from them and learn to manage them.
Have the capacity for self-efficacy.
Have the ability to form trusting relationships and be able to trust and rely on people in their lives.
How does this look in real life?
Our clients come to us struggling with something, something they have not been able to solve by themselves or with help from others. If previous advice from their doctor or family has ‘fallen on deaf ears’ or we assume the client ‘just doesn’t care,’ do we:
- consider the possibility that our client has a history of Adverse Childhood Experiences, or
- do we just keep on giving them ‘solutions’ based on the assumption that they have all of these life skills and just lack sufficient ‘motivation.’
“I asked my client if they had trauma, and they said no”
Many people will have an inner voice saying that reactions to trauma are just ‘excuses.’ They may judge themselves harshly for feeling hurt and think they are really just bad or lazy. They may fear that asking for help and needing help is just ‘coddling’ themselves.
“My clients say they watch motivational videos over and over again and nothing improves”
Why not just try to increase their ‘motivation?’ Our client may have coping strategies that help them cope with past traumas — coping strategies that may look like anger, addiction or withdrawal. Do our ‘solutions’ (smoking cessation, alcohol cessation, etc.) require them to give up their current strategies for easing their pain and coping with past traumas without offering them alternate self-care strategies?
Just realizing this is a major paradigm shift for health coaches.
Are our clients trying to bully themselves into behavior change?
Are our clients developing their life skills or are they just trying to rely on ‘feelings’ of motivation to reach their goals?
Are we sharing and reinforcing healthy stress-reduction strategies to replace their current unhealthy coping strategies?
